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 Mikes Poems reviews

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Mike
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PostSubject: Mikes Poems reviews   Wed Jul 22, 2009 4:53 pm

Feel free to review my poems here.

I'd like constructive comments please, I need to work on my poetry writing, and any criticism, or good comments would be greatly appreciated.

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PostSubject: Re: Mikes Poems reviews   Fri Jul 24, 2009 5:03 pm

Re: Heartbeat



Quote :
If I were with you, I'd do everything I could for you.
I'd get you anything you wanted, anything desire demanded,
I'll cool you down if you're too warm, warm you up if cold.
I'd slow down my heartbeat, so you could rest your head on my chest,
I'd breathe slow and steady, to comfort you in panic.

This says a lot, good flow in this one.

I liked your poem. The second stanza is a little rough.

Good job ^^ Hope to see more.

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PostSubject: Re: Mikes Poems reviews   Fri Jul 24, 2009 8:05 pm

Title: Heartbeat

I have to say, Mike, I love this poem. It's so powerful, so strong. I'm absolutely in love with it.

Mike wrote:
I'd slow down my heartbeat, so you could rest your head on my chest...

I think that's my favorite line out of the entire thing. It speaks of such a powerful emotion, and the imagery is pure gold. Great job hun, keep it up!

Ace

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PostSubject: Re: Mikes Poems reviews   Sat Jul 25, 2009 11:59 am

Very nice.

Re: Mystery.

My Favorite so far. I hope to see more up.

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PostSubject: Re: Mikes Poems reviews   Sun Aug 09, 2009 5:13 am

I love your newest poem. Lovely work <3333

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PostSubject: Re: Mikes Poems reviews   Fri Sep 25, 2009 8:19 pm

*Claps* The first one is just pure gold!!!

And the second beautiful depiction and master piece.

I am impressed you have improved. These two poems are wonderful.

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PostSubject: Re: Mikes Poems reviews   Thu Dec 17, 2009 7:52 pm

:Review for Outside:

Wow, I really loved this poem, Mike. It was incredibly deep, and it actually felt like it was directed at one single person, but it also felt like it could be an entire crowd! Fantastically written. I love how you open the poem with “Cut short this misery, it’s unbecoming of you,” it’s a flashy opener, that grabs people’s attentions quickly. I loved it. There were a few things I saw that you could improve, for instance, “decandent” is actually “decadent.”

Also, the line “It's real life, so get up, go out before it's end.” Kind of flows strangely for me. Perhaps adding, “It's real life, so get up and go out before it's end.” Aside from those, though, I think it’s an amazingly written poem. Great job hun!

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PostSubject: Re: Mikes Poems reviews   Thu Dec 17, 2009 7:58 pm

Thanks for the feedback Ace! I agree with it entirely, and have made some teeny little changes. Razz

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PostSubject: Re: Mikes Poems reviews   Fri Dec 18, 2009 2:08 pm

Way to go, Mike! Nicely done, I like it. Smile (Outside)

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PostSubject: Re: Mikes Poems reviews   Mon May 17, 2010 3:56 pm

More poems up! Reviews more than welcome, good or bad, whatever, any critique is good!

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PostSubject: Re: Mikes Poems reviews   Wed May 19, 2010 4:30 am

You potato fiend :B

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PostSubject: Re: Mikes Poems reviews   Sat Jul 17, 2010 1:53 am

As usual your new work is brilliant!

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