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 A ramble...

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Mike
The Writing Writer
The Writing Writer
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Male Posts : 1385
Join date : 2009-07-22
Age : 31
Location : Liverpool

20100720
PostA ramble...

I always thought, or at least held onto the thought, that a relationship with someone you're already friends with is a risky thing to do, but despite it's chance of success being low, when it does work, it can be a magical thing, and because you already know a lot about each other, you can make better decisions regarding them.

The risk is in the loss. Say it doesn't work. Say you split from this person. Not only have you lost your lover, you've lost your friend as well. And this is just the beginning of the fallout. If the two of you are a part of a group of friends, they could easily take sides, and tear the group apart. Is that worth trying a relationship with a friend?

To argue in the positive, imagine it works. You've found your life partner, and he or she is your best friend to boot. The ultimate combination. This one could go all the way. Marriage, kids, the lot. You and your soul mate, together forever.

Conversely to this balancing act, what if this friend denies you even the chance, because he or she isn't prepared to risk your friendship over something that is a big emotional and social risk. It's perfectly understandable, of course, the status quo is what it is, it's a safe haven, full of your friends, and it's generally a happy medium. Why on earth would anyone want to change that?

Overwhelming feelings, for one, can cut through the equilibrium like a hot knife through butter. I could all start with a secret stolen kiss at a party, or a perfectly innocent visit to their place could turn into something more. Either way, if these feelings do take over, then wave goodbye to your comfort zone. You're in it for the whole ride.

With friends, of course, denial is much more difficult, as if your friends know you at all, they'll know how to get information out of you. So if you were intent on keeping it hidden, you won't stand much of a chance for too long. Even if they don't figure it out, you yourself will begin to feel guilty for keeping it from them, and end up telling them anyway. So to counter this, just tell them what's happening. If your friends are true, then they will support the both of you, however they object to it in their own minds.

So while I haven't come to a convincing conclusion here, it has helped me to get things a little straighter in my head.

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