Mai's Songwriting attempts (Review)

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I gotta say Mai, you've done excellently there.

It's almost as if you can feel the words, and I'm not sure why, but I had a male singer singing it in my head.

This could translate well into music, I especially like the line:

And I can’t stand to see you depressed because it breaks my,
Heart every time.

The last three words call for a break in whatever instruments are being played, and the words either being shouted, screamed or whispered, adding power and yet more feeling to the song. I actually really like it, it's a song that music would have to wrap around, rather than having the words match the music. I prefer that, as it shows the artists are trying to make their music about what they're saying, rather than what they're playing.

Great work Mai!

Thank you. i have yet to find instruments for it. But will hopefully soon.

Mai Mai! Your songwriting is getting very good indeed! You seem to be able to effortlessly portray deep emotion in your songs, and I like it very much.

I need to try to get more emotion in my songs, so looking at yours gives me an idea of how.