This second I take it upon myself to write, but what to write? I suppose its to ease my stressed mind and strained heart. Pondering upon confidence and trying to gain the courage to be more positive and more open to those I do not know. Maybe to even gain something even more from it. (Random:) Always wondering will there be one? I don't think I need to explain myself by what I mean by this. Those who know me well enough will know? I wonder every year if there is a chance I will open up fully to anyone, then just a few people. On the short note there always is. It's fear that tells me to be cautious. Not to over look anything. So like a closed book I am defensive. There are a few people close to me I open up to fully. Will I open up to more people? (Time will only tell, but I hope). In this moment writing is my voice, my speech, my expression.

I want to believe I can.