Well, I could do this two ways. Blurt it out as blunt as it can be written, or go all cryptic, so as to confuse all but myself. We'll see as I go along. Fuck it. Blunt, with a hint of cryptic. I'll name no names, apart from my own, obviously, because I'm writing it and it's me I'm talking about. So it turns out opinion of me is that of a tame, friendly guy who's a great friend, but not good enough for a relationship. Apparently it's because I'm not predatory enough. I approach the whole thing with an air of "be my friend" as opposed to "be mine". Despite others trying to persuade me to be more.. shall we say.. sharp, when it comes to affairs of the heart. Well correct me if I'm wrong, but is it so bad to want to get to know someone before entering into a relationship with them? What's bad about that? Or is it because of the other argument that was put to me, that women seem to edge towards bad boys, idiots and bastards, whilst making the nice guy into her friend. Well that just stinks of unfairness. Not even giving the guy a chance, because he's NOT a twat? Where is the logic? It makes no sense to me.

While all this goes on in my head, I still seem to manage to make friends, and keep them. Even after not seeing some of them in months. I treasure all of my friends, regardless of how I came to meet them and subsequently become their friend, in some cases, even best friend. I have no problem with being dumped into the friend zone, if that is the outcome of it. My friends are amazing, and I wouldn't change them for the world. Trust is a big thing too. Apparently I'm considered trustworthy. I could point to a few examples that would demonstrate this, but they are private. But if I'm gaining peoples trust, just by being myself, how can I not gain the the actual love of anybody? Again the logic of it escapes me. I can be trusted, but clearly not enough to hold a relationship and keep it alive. I guess there's different levels of it. The level of trust I seem to get stuck at is the "good/close friend" level. That is a very frustrating level, despite it's obvious and important responsibilities, which, for my true friends, I am only too happy to shoulder the burden of.

But I'm getting tired of making friends off the back of trying to find a relationship. It's too much for me to bear at the moment. All it takes is one person to say yes to me. One person. Aren't there like six billion people in the world or something? And not one. Not a single one. Oh, but of course, I wouldn't be considered anyway, because I'm too nice. I'm too friendly. I'm too fucking friendly. It's hardly worth it for the pain and stress it causes to even try, but I do try, and despite my near 100% failure rate, I keep trying. There has to be someone out there who I can prove my worth to. Someone I can treat like a princess, like she's the only woman in the world. What is so wrong with that? They say that there's someone for everyone in this world. Knowing my luck she's halfway around the world.