Mike's Thoughts From Two Years Ago

Ok.. This isn't a blog or a poem, so I gave it it's own thread.
This is basically what I jotted down in a notebook a couple of years ago, when I wanted to see what my thoughts were like.
Review it in the Mike's Blogs - Review thread please.

So.. here goes.

Take care of explosive language! Say the wrong word and BOOM!! There goes your face and mouth.

Greasy Weasels.. Slippery customers.

Yep, you guessed it, it's MENTAL DIAHOREAEAEAEAEAEA time! (I will try to spell that later in my life)

I should have bought a left-handed pen.

There's a guy in my work who looks like Jeremy Clarkson (i.e. about 12 feet tall, has a square afro, and dresses like an old french teacher)

The crazy crazy world of a certain Miss Kirsty... could be the start of a future best seller!

Whether she can keep to herself what I've told her depends on how sensitively she views the situation.

Funny things go through your mind when typing a confidential email.

Maybe I'm too self critical...

Don King should have been a circus clown.

When I think the thought, I need to remember to write down the thought that I thought.

She's not human, she's a great scottish behemoth! *boom... boom... boom... boom... boom... boooooooom* (that was her walking to he chair and sitting down)

What makes a good crime? It's success.

It's strange that my thoughts are leading me to believe she feels the same way. There's no way of knowing without talking to her. Not anyone else, not myself in my thoughts, but HER. Shame I have to wait two weeks to see her again. I'd rather be sober when I do though, there is nothing braver, in my opinion, than telling someone how you feel without any form of intoxication. (Well, other than the feelings themselves)

I've thought about sending her a text message, just to say that I need to talk to her, but it may be better to wait until she comes back, or is soon to be coming back, to tell her.

My head is full of maybes and what-if's at the moment, and the only way to stop that is by doing something about it. This whole situation is entirely my own doing, well, it is the machine of myfeelings, weaving a tangled web of confusion and desire, of fear and of love, of wonder and of pre-emptive regret.

Every time "But what if she says no?" pops into my head, "What if she says yes?" also appears.

I'm fighting a battle with my own emotions, and it seemed at one point like I was winning.

Wow, this turned into 'The Me Show' rather quickly!

Looking isn't exactly getting, is it?

I wonder what it was like being a codebreaker in all old wars and stuff. It seems like a hell of a responsibility!

Were Portugese Men of War any more vicious or dangerous than Men of War from any other country?

I'm really sorry to have to tell you this, but we couldn't save your hamster. Would you like to see our counsellor?

We have the word pre-emptive, so what about post-emptive?

Soft mints and purple Oasis don't go very well together...

Apparently binge drinking is just as bad as drinking every night. Well, that's what they said at the AA meetings!

I'm not an aggressive person.. WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT? ARE YOU STARTING SOMETHING?? RAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! *throws chair*

It's strange how a little bit of professional humiliation can inspire much improved performances.

Document based gender reassignment is my plastic surgery forte!

What would happen if you attach a jet pack to a mermaid? Or not even just a mermaid, any mythical creature!

To panic is to lose clarity of thought, and to lose clarity of thought is to lose control. Loss of control in turn leads to panic.

So stay calm, and take one step at a time.

It was in her hair, and on the chair, and in a rhyme, at the same time!

Train journeys are fun! I just hope I don't drown...

Ribena and Snickers flapjacks compliment each other perfectly. The nutty and oatiness of the flapjack are countered by the tang and the fruity flavour of the blackcurrant Ribena. I should be a wine critic guy.

I should have brought a ploughmans lunch...

...but I don't know how badly the ploughman would react to me stealing and eating his lunch...

Sleep makes your feet boogie without you knowing.

I apologise for the loss of sound quality, but the train is now moving.

I'm travelling to London arse first.

You don't really get that much inspiration on a train...

Wow! Those trees are moving fast! And those houses, look at them go!

It's a strange feeling, travelling in the opposite direction to where your friends are. With every second I'm getting further and further away from everyone that I know.

Don't look out the window when travelling backwards, it's like going back in time, and you will be sick.