Review: Lynn's Poems

Tell me what you think. I LOVE constructive criticism as a certain person is incapable of giving me any, it's up to you guys.

I love you poems honey.

And I can give constructive criticism...

... Sorta.

Yeah, it's up to you guys. *Sighs*

Know what I love? How Haseo never reads his posts before posting them. *Cackles at the "you poems"

Anyway, on to the poetry! While I'm not the best critic in the world, I'll give it what I gots.

I noticed in "Broken Hearted" you changed the rhythm of the poem, rather this was on purpose, or not, it kind of trips me up when I read it. Read this part:



See how, at the beginning it's like bah bah bah bah bah bah bah. And the second line follows the same pattern. But then you change it to words with more syllables, and it changes the pattern. I like the poem, and the general meaning of it, mainly because it shows a powerful sense of emotions, but the rhythm kept tripping me up when I was trying to read it.

Perhaps, had it said something like:



I'll post up more later, possibly, but I gotta jet naow. *Loves* Fantastic job, darling. ^_^

I can totally relate to the "Outsider Looking In" <-- That's how I mainly felt while taking all those pictures for the Newspaper. I was watching everyone else have fun and not joining in it myself because I felt like I didn't belong!

That was how I felt half the time in highschool. My bestfriends always seemed to have closer best friends. The only time it was different was in newspaper when it was just the four of us chilling. But it's not like that anymore. That's for sure.